Chapter One Hundred and Six: Perfectly Legal

A week later the seed business sales were indeed flying.  Sal and Sally were now getting in ten to twelve orders a day.  Maybe the maple mustard greens muffins that were shipped out with every order were helping, but something was certainly working.

Doug was now calling himself Dazzle.  He looked quite different from the khaki clad lad who arrived at the commune a couple of weeks back.  He went around wearing bright bandanas, even more colorful t-shirts, torn jeans, and sandals, and had a scruffy beard.  He barely seemed at all like the person that Ken met at the door. 

Dazzle not only worked with the advertising but was also very helpful with getting the seeds packed up and shipped out.  The three workers were crowded in the little office and quite busy  when the three visitors came by.

“Peter!” Sal shrieked.  “And George and Fred!  I’m so glad you could stop by.”

“Always glad to help,” said Peter.  “So, is this the new business operation?”

“Sure is,” said Sal.  “Sal and Sally’s Selected Seeds.  I think you’ve met Sally.”

“Yes, indeed,” said Peter.  “We hung out a bit at the anniversary party.”

“We got soaked together,” said Fred.  “That rain storm was a bit of a bonding experience.”

“Great,” said Sal.  “And this is the newest member of our commune, Dazzle.  Dazzle, this is our legal team, Peter, and George, and Fred.”

Dazzle shook hands with all of the men.  “Good to meet you,” he said.

“So what have we got here?” Peter asked.  He spent the next hour quizzing them all about the seed business with George and Fred asking occasional questions.

“Okay,” said Peter after he asked everything he could think of asking, including questions he asked at least twice.  “Given your communes 501z status,  we’re going to have to be careful how we set up this company.  We’ll be back with some clearer ideas in a few days.”

                                                                   *

A couple of days later,  Peter and Fred met with Sal and Sally to go over what they had found.  Dazzle excused himself from the meeting saying was busy “retooling” their marketing strategy.

“With the commune’s 501z status, we have to be clear that the business fits in with the mission of the commune and that all profits are shared among everyone at the commune,” Peter pointed out.

“It certainly fits in with our mission,” Sal said.   “We are trying to demonstrate and support agricultural alternatives, and you can’t do agriculture without seeds.  And believe me, we sharing everything at this commune.”

“Including toothbrushes and beds,” Sally added.  “And all too frequently germs as well.”

“Given that,” Fred said,  “I think we can just fold the new business into the commune’s regular legal structure.  Just be sure to document all this.”

“No problem,” Sally said.  “I’m going to sit down after this meeting and write it all up.”

“Okay, then,” Peter said.  “I think that this just about wraps it all up.  I will keep checking in with you and be sure and contact me if you have any questions or if anything comes up unexpectedly.”

He got up to leave but turned back to Sal.  “Oh, yeah.  One more thing.  That new guy, Dazzle.  For some reason he looks familiar to me.  Has he been here before?”

“Nope,” said Sal.  “He’s brand new.”

“He must just look like someone,”  Peter said.  “I don’t know.  Ever since I met him I’ve felt like I’ve seen him somewhere before.”

Chapter One Hundred and Five: Doug Dazzle

“Do you want to visit or join?” Ken asked.

“So those are my choices, huh?”

Ken was wondering if the question was even worth asking.  This guy had not only an open necked dress shirt and sunglasses and khaki pants, but a newsy cap and a scarlet sportscar.  Still, he’d seen stranger folk apply.

“Let me think about it a minute,” the man said.  “And the answer is… join!”

“You want to join?” Ken asked.

“Yes, yes, my boy.  I see a great future here.”

“A great future here?”

“Excuse me, but do you have a hearing problem?”

“No, no, no,” Ken said.  “I just can’t imagine what kind of great future you expect to find here.”

“Hey, it’s got to be better than the Manhattan rat race.”

“Wow, are you from the Giant Apple?”  Ken asked.  “Do you know Alex?  I forget his last name.  He’s Candy’s cousin.”

“Alex is who sent me here.”

“What did you do in the big city?”

“Advertising and marketing work mostly.  I don’t suppose that you could use those skills here?”

                                                                   *

Ken practically burst into the tiny office where Sal and Sally were working.  “You’ve got to talk with this guy,” he shrieked.

“And who might you be?” asked Sal.

“Doug Danford.  Also known on Madison Avenue as Doug Dazzle.”

“Madison Avenue?” said Sally.  “Isn’t that where they do advertising?”

“It is indeed,” said Doug.  “I hear that you may be in the market for some marketing?”

“You heard that all the way down on the Giant Apple?” asked Sal.

“No,” said Doug.  “I heard it from my anxious friend here.  He said you were having a little problem with sales of seeds.”

“Look at this,” said Sal, motioning him over to where she had a spreadsheet open.

“Unbelievable!” Doug said.

“You think it’s that bad?” asked Sally.

“No,” said Doug.  “I haven’t seen a computer like that in fifteen years.  I didn’t think they existed anymore.”

“What about the figures?”  Sal asked.

“Sales? Don’t worry about it.  I’ve turned around situations a lot worse than this.  This computer is connected to the internet, right?  You know what that is?”

“Yes, of course it’s connected,” said Sal.  “We aren’t complete imbeciles here.”

“Okay,” said Doug.  “Let me use it for a couple of hours.  I’ll have your sales flying in a week.”

Chapter One Hundred and Four: A Seedy Business

“Wow,” said Sally.  “This is our fifth order.  That’s kind of a milestone.”

“I suppose it is,” said Sal.  “But this isn’t so easy for me.  I lived at Old Corn where we would often get ten orders a day--and that was on a slow day.”

“Yeah, but we’re just starting this,” Sally pointed out.  “Old Corn has been doing it for quite a while.”

“That’s true,” Sal said. “But if this business is going to earn any money, we’re going to need to figure out how to get more customers, and fast.”

“Okay,” said Sally.  “But how are we supposed to do that?”

“I’m thinking, I’m thinking,” said Sal.

At that moment, Luna poked her head in the door.  “How’s it going?”

“Could be better,” Sal said.

“What’s wrong?” Luna asked.

“We’re not getting much business,” said Sal.  “The people who’ve ordered seeds are happy with us, but we don’t have very many people ordering seeds.’

“You know what we need?” Sally said.

“What?” asked Sal and Luna, almost as one voice.

“We need an advertising person.  Someone who knows something about marketing.”

“Where do we find someone like that?” asked Sal.

                                                                   *

“Hey, look,” Sally said a week later.  “We got two more orders in today.  That means that we’ve gotten nine orders in so far and almost doubled our sales in a week.”

“That’s lovely,” said Sal sadly.  “But at this rate we’ll break even by the next decade.”

“Okay, okay,” said Sally.  “I’ve talked with everyone at the commune and really, there isn’t anyone here that really understands advertising and marketing.  I think we’ve just got to keep on going and doing the best we can and trust that it will all work out.”

“I know,” Sal said.  “I’m a bit of a worrywart.  Still, I don’t want to just sit back and wait for something to happen.  That’s not my style.”

“Sorry, I can’t keep listening to this,” Sally said.  “Let me work on this order. While you’re busy complaining, we could be getting stuff done.”

 “Okay,” Sal said.  “I’m taking a break.”

She found Nancy working in the kitchen.  “Got a minute?” she asked.

“For you, my love, of course!”  Nancy smiled sweetly at Sal.

“I’m really worried about our new seed business,” Sal said.  “If we don’t get a big influx of customers soon, we’re going to be in big trouble.”

“You’ve gotta have faith, Sal,” Nancy said.  “It’s a great idea.  You’ve just gotta give it a little time.”

“But…” Sal said.

“Listen to me.  Something is going to happen and it’s going to happen soon.  I know it.”

Chapter One Hundred and Three: Candy’s Cousin

“Okay,” said Ken.  “Do you want to visit or join?”

“I want to see Candy,” said the man with the opened neck dress shirt and sunglasses.

“Let me see if I can find her,” Ken said.   He was back in less than five minutes because he found Candy working away in the kitchen.

“Alex!”  Candy yelled when she saw him.  “What are you doing way up here?”

“I was visiting with your folks and they told me you were here, so I came to check the place out.”

“Alex, this is Ken and Marge and Grace,” Candy said, pointing the communards out, one by one.  “Hey, folks, this is my cousin, Alex.”

“Pleased to meet you, Alex,” said Marge.  “Where do you hail from?”

“I’m working in the big city these days,” Alex said.  “You know, the Giant Apple.  I actually live on an island that can’t decide if it’s part of New York or New Jersey.”

“What do you do in the city?” Grace asked.

“I’m in retail,” Ken said.  “I track numbers for companies that don’t trust their own number people.”

“You ever see a commune before?”  Ken asked.

“I didn’t think they really existed,” Alex said.  “Although I’ve heard rumors that there’s one on the island I live on.  I actually thought that they all vanished in the nineteen seventies.”

“Wanna tour of the place?” Candy asked.

“Sure,” said Alex.

                                                                   *

“What are those?” asked Alex as they walked through the kitchen.

“They’re blackberry-eggplant muffins,” said Candy.

“You’re kidding,” Alex said.  “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“No,” said Candy.  “They’re very popular around here.”

“I guess when you’re this far out in the sticks, you’ve got to do something for excitement.”

“I like them,” Candy said.

“Okay, okay,” said Alex.  “So do you folks actually have computers here and things like the internet, or is this place too back to the land for that?”

“Oh, no,” Candy said, as they finished touring the main building.  “We have a computer.”

“Okay,” said Alex.  “You have a computer.  Can I see it?”

“Sure.  It’s over here in the back house.”

They walked into the back house and into a room where they found Sal swearing at a small computer.

“That’s the computer?” Alex said.  “It looks like something Steve Jobs or Bill Gates might have practiced on.”

“Hey,” said Candy.  “It gets the job done.”

“Eventually,” added Sal.

“I can show you our crops,” Candy said.

“Thanks, but I’ve seen farmland,” Alex said.  “Look, I’ve got to run.  I appreciate you showing me around.  You’re happy here?”

“Yeah, I really am,” Candy said.

“Well I guess that’s what counts,” said Alex.

Chapter One Hundred and Two: The New Kitchen

“Two weeks late and almost three hundred dollars over budget,” Lois said.

“Hey,” said Sowbug.  “In the contracting world that’s about perfection.”

Earthworm looked around.  “I think it looks great.”

“Me, too,” said Mo.

“Yeah,” said Sorrel, “I think it looks fabulous but maybe we should ask somebody who’s in the kitchen crew.”

Almost on schedule, Zelda walked in.  “Holy muffin tins!” she said.  She spent a moment just gazing around the room with her mouth open.

“Do you like it?” Dandelion asked.

“It’s unbelievable!”

“Unbelievably good or unbelievably bad?” asked Mo.

“Unbelievably terrific!” Zelda said.

“What’s all the noise in here?” Nancy asked and then stopped short as she took in the room.  “Unbelievable,” she said.

“I’ve already said that,” said Zelda.

Nancy didn’t say another word.  She just started hugging everyone on the construction crew.

                                                                   *

“Unbelievable,” Darren said as he looked around the new kitchen.  “I’m still having trouble believing  they were able to put three ovens in here.”

“Believe it,” Candy said.  “I’ve got stuff baking in two of them.”

“And there’s so much more room,” Darren added.

“The construction crew was very creative,” Nancy said proudly. “They expanded the room by getting rid of the back porch and building onto the land.”

“Isn’t it the greatest?” said Zelda.  “I can tell I’m going to have fun working in here.”  She stopped and thought for a minute.  “Well, I already have fun working in here, but now I’m going to have even more fun.”

“So what’s in the oven over there?” Darren asked.

“Lots of pies,” said Nancy.  “Most of them are for the commune but I’ve made three special ones just for the construction crew.  It’s my own thank you to them.”

“Okay,” said Darren.  “Fine by me.  After seeing all this, I definitely think they deserve their very own pies.”

“You betcha,” said Zelda.

Chapter One Hundred and One: Stan! Again!

“Don’t say it, Sal!”  Stan said.  “It’s gonna be different this time!”

“Different how?” Sal asked.

“I’ve changed!  I’m a new man!  I’m ready to work and work hard!” said Stan.

“This I have to see,” said Sal.

“Oh, sweetie,” said Nancy.  “Give him a chance.  He just got here.”

“Yes!  A chance!” said Stan.  “It will be different!  I’ll show you!  You’ll see!”

“I’ll believe it when I see it with my own eyes,” Sal said.

“You wait!” said Stan.

“I certainly will,” Sal said.

“Okay, Stan,” said Luna.  “What kind of work are you willing to do?”

“Whatever you need!” Stan said.  “I’m ready to work hard!”

“Okay, then,” Luna said.  “The construction crew can use a bit of help moving stuff on and off site.  They’re expanding the kitchen.  You can start tomorrow.”

“No problem!  I’m on it!” Stan said.

                                                                   *

By the next evening, the entire commune was nonplussed.

“You’re kidding me,” Darren said.

“I’m not,” said Mo.  “I mean I’ve heard all the stories about Stan and I expected his participation to be a joke.  I was impressed and I mean it.  He worked as hard or maybe harder than any of us, he did whatever he was told, and he was actually cheerful about it all.  The whole team is in shock.”

“Never mind the construction crew,” Nancy said.  “The whole commune is in shock.”

“There’s Sal,” someone said.

“Don’t say it,” Sal said.  “I’ve heard it from everyone and I’m still trying to take it in.  It’s like one of those sci fi films where someone switches bodies and brains.  I want to ask, what have you done with the real Stan?”

“Maybe it’s just a one day fluke,” Luna said, “but I’m ready to let Stan stay.  Are you willing to go along Sal?”

Sal sighed.  “What choice do I have?  I’ll bet it’s just a one day fluke but it’s going to be hard to say no after hearing all the glowing reports from the construction team.  I’ve worked with those folks.  They’re not gonna say he worked hard unless he worked hard, and from what I’ve heard, he worked hard.”

“I’m gonna tell him he can stay here as long as he’s willing to work,” Luna said.  “Anyone have any objections?”

A dozen bewildered folks shook their collective heads.

Fifteen minutes later, Stan staggered in.

“How are you doing?” Cat asked.

“Okay…” Stan said in an oddly slow and quiet voice.

“Stan,” Luna said.  “I’ve talked with everyone here.  You did great work today.  You want to stay, you’re more than welcome to stay.”

“Thanks…” Stan muttered.  “Sorry… I’ll be taking off tomorrow…”

“Are you leaving?” Dan asked.

“Yeah…” said Stan.  “This place involves way too much work…”

Chapter One Hundred: Two Years!

“Wait,” said Luna.  “I just realized that our communal anniversary was last week.”

“Whoa, that’s right,” said Dan.

“That’s no reason for not having a celebration next week,” said Nancy.  “I’ll send out invitations today.”

“Thanks, Nancy,” said Sal.  “I’ll start organizing folks to organize it.”

She went into the dining hall where several of the newer folks were gathered.

“Anyone want to help organize our two year anniversary party?” she asked.

“This place is only two years old?” said Angel.  “I thought it was like fifty.”

“No,” said Sal.  “You’re thinking of Three Sycamores.  They’re nearly fifty.  We’re a pretty new commune.”

“Yeah,” said Candy.  “I remember a couple of years ago when my father told me a bunch of weirdos had bought this farm.  I never dreamt I’d be living here now.”

“Do you still think that we’re weirdos?” asked Angel.

“Yeah,” said Candy, “but I think that you’re a bunch of pretty nice weirdos.”

“I can live with that,” said Winter.

                                                                    *

A week later, the celebration was going strong.  Sweet as Syrup was just finishing their set and everyone was dancing.  It was hot and humid and it looked like it might rain any minute.  The climax to their last song was a loud final chord, a louder drumroll, a flash of lightning, and an even louder explosion of thunder.

Within seconds, the downpour began.  The Green Mountain Boyos, who were getting ready to play, helped the Sweet as Syrup band get their instruments and equipment to shelter.  The food seemed unaffected until the canopy blew away.  Drenched folks struggled to rescue whatever they could.

The rain seemed to permeate everything.  Soaked and shivering, party-goers huddled on the porches of the commune and watched the celebration turn to a soggy, muddy mess.

Then Sal started laughing.  

“It’s not funny,” Dan said, but Luna started laughing too and was quickly joined by Cat, Chuck, Winter, and Dandelion.  Bob’s boisterous baritone belly laugh bellow rang through the spreading  hysterical roar.

Dan even found himself chuckling as the whole commune dissolved into a whooping mass of out of control hilarity.

As the chortling slowly died down to giggling, the downpour dwindled to a light rain and slowly dropped away.

Folks started venturing out, the food was brought back, and the Green Mountain Boyos began to set up to play.

“See,” Luna said to Dan.  “It all works out well in the end.”

“It usually does around here,” said Ed.  “Happy second anniversary.”

“Look,” said Fred.  He pointed to the sky where the clouds were parting and a rainbow was materializing.

The whole commune began clapping, along with Ralph and Ed, and Peter and George and Fred, and Steve and Amanda, and the Troll, and a host of parents.  

“Happy anniversary!” resounded almost as one voice.

Luna was almost in tears.

“I’m so glad that you’re all here,” she said.

“Me, too!” said a familiar voice from behind the crowd.  “It’s good to be back!”