With apologies to the Beatles, the Federation of Egalitarian Communities, and the state of Vermont.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Chapter Eighty-Four: The Real Humbug

The two Humbugs glared at each other.

“What are you doing here, Bobby?” one of them finally said.  She did not look happy.

“Why should you have all the fun, Sally?” the other one said.  

“I specifically asked you not to come here,” Humbug Sally said.

“You’re not the boss of me,” said Humbug Bobby. “Mom said she thought I should come here.”

“I applied for the BBAA position just so I could get a break from you and Mom.”

“You don’t ever want to do anything with me!”

“No, I don’t.  What gives you the right to come here and pretend to be me?”

“Wait,” Viv said. “Are you two brother and sister?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” HS said.

“And she is really unfortunate,” HB said.  “She never gives me a chance to do anything fun.  You said I could stay.”

“That was before I knew the situation,” Luna said.  “Let me get this straight.  You, Humbug Sally, were the one who filled out the BBAA application.”

“Yes,” HS said.  “I filled out the application and decided to call myself Humbug because I was sick of being Sally and sick of being in that small town and sick of my obnoxious brother trying to horn in on everything that I do.”

“I’m sick of that small town as well and I’m sick of you getting to do everything and me not able to do anything,” HB said.  “Why can’t we both come to this commune and get to do farming and stuff?”

“Where is King Solomon when we need him?”  Marge said.

“Look,” Luna said.  “I’m going to need some time to figure this out.  For right now, Marge can you find tents for the two Humbugs?”

“I have a tent,” HS said.  “I came prepared.  And I’m the real Humbug.”

“Okay,” Luna said.  “Show them where to set up--and don’t put them near one another.”


Viv and Luna were still trying to work it all out when Dan and Sal walked in.

“We have a problem,” Luna said.

“No kidding,” said Sal.

“I think she means they have a problem,” Dan said.

“Oh,” said Sal.  “Then we have a problem, too.”

“What’s up?” asked Dan.

“You remember Humbug, the BBAAer that was supposed to come today,” Luna said.

“Uh-huh,” said Dan.

“Well, now we have two of them,” Luna said.

“Two Humbugs?” asked Dan.

“Two Humbugs,” confirmed Luna.

“How did you get two Humbugs?”

“That’s a really good question,” Viv said.  “We’re still trying to figure out which is which and what’s what.”

“While you are sorting out your Humbugs,” Sal said, “Dan and I need to go off to sort some other stuff out.”

“Yes,” Dan said.  “Good luck with your Humbugs.”

After Sal and Dan left, Viv and Luna could hear their raised voices echoing down the hallway.

“It sounds like they might be having problems, too,” Viv said.  “Should we be worried?”

“Not right now,” Luna said.  “We still have to figure out how to deal with these Humbugs.  We just have two too many Humbugs.”

“So what do you think we should do?”

“I think we’re gonna need to bring it up in the Commune Meeting,” Luna said.  “What else can we do?”

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