With apologies to the Beatles, the Federation of Egalitarian Communities, and the state of Vermont.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Chapter One Hundred and Five: Doug Dazzle

“Do you want to visit or join?” Ken asked.

“So those are my choices, huh?”

Ken was wondering if the question was even worth asking.  This guy had not only an open necked dress shirt and sunglasses and khaki pants, but a newsy cap and a scarlet sportscar.  Still, he’d seen stranger folk apply.

“Let me think about it a minute,” the man said.  “And the answer is… join!”

“You want to join?” Ken asked.

“Yes, yes, my boy.  I see a great future here.”

“A great future here?”

“Excuse me, but do you have a hearing problem?”

“No, no, no,” Ken said.  “I just can’t imagine what kind of great future you expect to find here.”

“Hey, it’s got to be better than the Manhattan rat race.”

“Wow, are you from the Giant Apple?”  Ken asked.  “Do you know Alex?  I forget his last name.  He’s Candy’s cousin.”

“Alex is who sent me here.”

“What did you do in the big city?”

“Advertising and marketing work mostly.  I don’t suppose that you could use those skills here?”


Ken practically burst into the tiny office where Sal and Sally were working.  “You’ve got to talk with this guy,” he shrieked.

“And who might you be?” asked Sal.

“Doug Danford.  Also known on Madison Avenue as Doug Dazzle.”

“Madison Avenue?” said Sally.  “Isn’t that where they do advertising?”

“It is indeed,” said Doug.  “I hear that you may be in the market for some marketing?”

“You heard that all the way down on the Giant Apple?” asked Sal.

“No,” said Doug.  “I heard it from my anxious friend here.  He said you were having a little problem with sales of seeds.”

“Look at this,” said Sal, motioning him over to where she had a spreadsheet open.

“Unbelievable!” Doug said.

“You think it’s that bad?” asked Sally.

“No,” said Doug.  “I haven’t seen a computer like that in fifteen years.  I didn’t think they existed anymore.”

“What about the figures?”  Sal asked.

“Sales? Don’t worry about it.  I’ve turned around situations a lot worse than this.  This computer is connected to the internet, right?  You know what that is?”

“Yes, of course it’s connected,” said Sal.  “We aren’t complete imbeciles here.”

“Okay,” said Doug.  “Let me use it for a couple of hours.  I’ll have your sales flying in a week.”

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